Yes, It Happened, It Really Did


An unusually common phenomenon: the surreal experience. The death and life of a loved one. A traumatising event. An unprecedented moment. The first time we were overwhelmed beyond capacity of response. When we’re overcome… yes, until we are, we don’t recognise it as a possibility.

When we arrive at similar moments, we’re reminded of what was all too real. That trauma is an echo of its first intrusion. It has become us in those situations where we’re triggered. It’s very, very real. As I said, and it bears repeating until we understand, it was all too real, ‘unbelievable’ as it was. (I say ‘unbelievable’ because we, ourselves, are caused to question ourselves, and those who are unfeeling further complicate that fracturing of our experience from our identity.)

We must stop questioning ourselves… as much as possible. This is a crucial step in our healing.

We are in a position now, by God’s strength, to stand with those, like us, who had to learn to stand again.

We’re invited into the Great Knowing. If only the narcissist can admit they’re damaged deep down in their identity, they have a chance of recovery unto a contributory humanity. They, like us, must lose themselves to gain themselves. That seems beyond so many, for it requires a courage of honesty not many want to pay the price for. The Great Knowing is the knowledge of self, warts ‘n’ all. It isn’t pretty, but it is true. Yet, comprehend this, we’re loved as we are!

Times when trauma was so real, part of ourselves split off. Part of ourselves is now sensitive to the kind of stimulus that triggers. And all of us have triggers!

Awareness is our key, as we protect ourselves, being honest with ourselves, and therefore we have the capacity to live into the Great Healing, which spins out into the lives of others. If they know our weakness, and how we’re triggered, they’re invited into the Great Acceptance. Awareness of the pain we bear in our grief, for there is only healing as we meet that acceptance, to begin a journey by faith into healing.

Faith? Why? To go into pain in order to release pain. That requires faith. To believe it’s worth it… that healing is possible.

The Great Acceptance is the unconditional love that you and I both deserve, yet we must earn, through the other person’s choice of trust. We can only invite them.

It all starts with the reality, it happened. It really did!

It cannot be undone. What is, is. As we accept it, we no longer need to be in a reality of denial.

I truly wonder how many hurt people there are in society who make nothing of what happened to them, and then they disallow others calling truth on their pasts.

The greatest kindness anyone can do is allow another person their experience.

We cannot enter a process of healing unless we can begin to face our tyrant – the triggering event. Many times, the goal is not about becoming healed, for, as Christians at least, we believe that occurs in glory after we die. Yet, we can journey further in the Great Knowing, the Great Healing and the Great Acceptance.

For some reading this, the issue is present tense: it is happening. Hold on. You will make it!