Defining love is just like defining an ‘ocean’. Every time you take a plunge into the ocean you are bound to find something new and novel. This is because of the human psyche which is different for different individuals. What could be said to apply to one may fail in case of another. But it seems some common threads exist, which bind people in love and some of such tenets governing why people fall in love has helped in defining it.
Why do we fall in love? To fill the empty spaces in our lives, or just because it is in vogue? If only we run love like a race, our every strength would go into crossing the finish line first before anyone else.
Let us take a quick second through definitions of love we have heard in times past. Many great minds came up with what they felt could best describe this indescribable phenomenon. Some call it a feeling; some even see it at first sight. To some it is an endowment from above and to the others, it is meant for babies, or probably fools. Naturally, love is mostly defined based on individual experiences. Those who have been bruised and battered by it say it is not worth it, they don’t ever get to see the light because they have shut their eyes. Some who have enjoyed a bit of it but still hoping for so much more say it is the unconditional commitment towards an imperfect person. That is about the closest so far and it almost broke my defences except for one simple reason. Whatever is unconditional is expected to come from a perfect being, don’t you agree? Then how can an unconditional commitment come from a conditional human? Don’t you find it ironical that a perfect commitment is found in an imperfect person?
Come with me on a quick journey into the holy book. Enough of the fairy tales we grew up believing and dreaming about. Let us wake up and step to the balcony where the air we are sure will take more rook. Did the Holy Book not fail to find a greater love than a man who laid down his own life for a friend? There’s something about love, true genuine undiluted unadulterated unconditional love that involves a “death”; i.e. a total “end”. This is obviously not a physical death, but of course a dying to self, to own beliefs, to rigid perceptions, to selfish desires, to the most amazing past and to charming dreams, to the promising friends and to captivating reliefs, even to amiable ambitions, until you wish the whole world would hear your scream.
The simple love equation is LOVE = SACRIFICE (GIVE) = DEATH = LIFE.”God, who so LOVED us, GAVE his Son so that He can HAVE us… ” There is no love without giving and there is always a having that comes after the giving. The giving in this context transcends material gifts; it’s more of the offering that comes with the commitment of being in a relationship. If this is LOVE, then it is the dying to, i.e. the total and absolute abstinence from, Every Single Thing that seems to want to come between you and the other person. For to love is to give, to give is to die and to die is to live, never to die again. For in death alone does a seed find life in the ground. A time to be born is a time to live, a time to live is a time to give, a time to give is a time to die, a time to die is a time to love and a time to love is a time to live and never die again. Whosoever saves his/her life (desires, interest, beliefs, perceptions etc) loses it but those who lose theirs save it. Love begins with an acceptance and then it grows into appreciation. True love is not missing. THE ONLY WAY TO FIND IT IS TO FIRST LOSE IT i.e. give/sacrifice it! But if per adventure you lose it and didn’t find it, then it was never meant to be yours in the first place. Just shake off the dust from your heels to the ground and decide what you deserve and what deserves you. Go boldly for it, and as hard as it may be, you will find love! Or better still, love will find you!
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