More than anything else, you REALLY want to text him… but you have no clue what to say.
Texting your ex boyfriend can be disastrous if done incorrectly. But it can also be an amazingly effective way to get his attention. Send the right text, at the right time? And suddenly the tide is turned, and HE is chasing YOU again.
Yet first, know that texting an ex boyfriend is not usually a good idea. Not initially, at least.
A few things need to happen before sending any kind of text message. There are certain opening moves you should make before starting any contact with your ex boyfriend at all. Learn them first, before you decide to pick up that phone and text him.
Once you’ve done that? It’s time to get to the good stuff:
Knowing When To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
Right off the bat, know that your ex boyfriend will only take so much contact from you. There’s a small level of talking after the breakup that’s acceptable. So the first time you call or text him? He’ll listen. The 450th time you reach out? No way.
The truth is, less is generally more. You have one or two good shots to make positive contact after your ex dumps you, so don’t waste them. Especially don’t waste them on begging or pleading or telling your ex to give you “another chance”, which is only going to push him away and make any future contact you have with him fall on totally deaf ears.
Okay, onto the subject of WHEN to text your ex boyfriend:
Your main goal in sending a post-breakup text is to get an immediate and positive response. So with that in mind, you’ll want to send the text at a time when you’re sure your ex boyfriend isn’t busy.
The morning is always tough; lots of stuff happens and most people are in a rush. The day isn’t that great either: many people are at work, or school, or your ex might be out with his friends. You DON’T want to text him while he’s with his friends, which is why you want to wait until about 9pm in the evening, or somewhere around that time.
Waiting until nightfall is a good idea because your boyfriend’s day is over. Things aren’t so crazy, dinner is over, and he’s probably relaxed. This is when he’s most receptive to hearing from you. And this is also when you’ll be most likely to get a positive response.
At night, people get nostalgic. They also get lonely. If your ex thinks about you at all, it’s during these times. This is when he’ll be missing you, missing your relationship, and sometimes even revisiting those good old times together.
Okay, so you know the timing. Now what do you say when you text your ex?
Texting Your Ex the “I’m Okay” Message
Getting your boyfriend back is a series of methodical steps. And the very first one? To let him know you’ve stopped resisting the breakup.
To do this, you need to let your boyfriend know you completely and totally agree with splitting up. And here’s how:
“Hey, I just wanted to say I’m totally cool with breaking up. I thought a lot about it and you’re right, ending things is the way to go. Take care, and who knows? Maybe one day we can even be friends.”
Short. Sweet. It’s this type of text that will get instantly through to your ex boyfriend, and even though you didn’t say much, what you did say will have a significant impact on how he views you now.
First and foremost, you’re not fighting him. This is baffling to your ex boyfriend, because he expected you to fight for the relationship. Now, all of a sudden, you’re actually in agreement with him. You’re not asking to keep going, and you’re not embarrassing yourself by throwing yourself at his feet.
The most interesting thing about this text is that it puts you on his side. Whether he likes it or not, you’re suddenly on his team. There’s nothing to fight or argue about, because you agree. And this is the first step in creating those important emotional bonds that will eventually bring the two of you back together.
Texting Your Ex boyfriend the “No More Talking” Text
After a breakup, there are usually dozens if not hundreds of back-and-forth conversations people will have with their exes. Most of it gets accusatory. Things turn ugly quickly, and the memories between you are poisoned with all sorts of bad blood.
But you’re going to avoid all that. Because here’s what you say:
“Hey, I was thinking, and it’s probably best that we don’t talk anymore. I agree 100% with what you said. Good luck, and maybe we’ll be friends again one day.”
This is known as a pre-emptive, post-breakup strike. Instead of letting HIM dictate when and how you communicate with each other, you just ripped the entire band-aid off with one quick pull.
Your ex boyfriend was all set to fight you through texting. He was ready to ignore your messages, respond with sarcastic quips, and basically inflate his own ego as you kept trying to fruitlessly communicate with him through your phone.
Instead of all that, YOU ended all contact with HIM. This puts YOU in the driver’s seat, because YOU were the one who dictated what happens next. And what happens? Nothing. Because you’re not going to text or call him until he calls you first.
And believe me, that will certainly happen. Right after you send a text like this? Your ex is stumped. He’s wondering what the hell happened to CHANGE YOUR MIND. Did you move on? Did some other guy come into the picture? Will you go out now, and see other people?
One of the things your ex hasn’t had to face yet is the possibility of actually losing you. This is because he always knew he could have you back whenever he wanted. By severing all communication between you, you’ve created a silence that makes him extremely uncomfortable. And being uncomfortable is one of the biggest motivators when it comes to re-weighing his decision to break up with you in the first place.
Texting Your Ex to ‘Make Him Jealous’
This is a quick, effective text message that will rock his world. You ready?
“Hey, you know, I agree with you. I would definitely be best if we both started seeing other people. Sorry this didn’t work. Good luck to you.”
Again, your boyfriend broke things off knowing he could call off the breakup at any time. With just a single word or two, you’d come flying back into his arms.
But after this text message? NOPE. Suddenly that’s not a certainty anymore.