Negativity is a habit. It’s a mindset and an attitude. If you want to stop being a downer, then you need to change your negative thoughts, words and feelings and focus on better perspectives. Here is how you can begin to make that shift from negative to positive.
- Begin by noticing your thoughts.
Your daily thought patterns are habits. Sometimes bad habits, sometimes good habits. Unless you are taking the time to be conscious of the thoughts that run through your head, you’ll be functioning on auto-pilot. And if you have set negative thoughts as your head pilot on your attitude and actions, it’s only going to lead you to be a negative person who’s always a downer for others. Start taking notice of your thoughts. Then begin to change them.
- You can control what you think.
Taking over your thoughts all day long is tiring for sure and unnecessary. As you start seeing a negative thought cross your mind, set out the intention to rephrase it so that it doesn’t sound so negative. It doesn’t have to sound all happy-go-lucky all the time, but just something that feels a little less negative.
For example, if you look out the window each morning and see it’s cold, wet and rainy again, instead of complaining or thinking negative thoughts about the weather (like I hate winter! It’s always ugly here!) think about how there is a season for all types of weather. Think about how it’s normal to have rainy days and sunny days. Think about how the plants and vegetation need the water. Or think, ‘The weather isn’t going to determine my attitude today”.
Learn to replace each negative thought you regularly think with one that feels a bit less down. Aim for just changing a few thoughts at a time. Find the ones you think of often throughout your day. If it’s work related, then remember that you chose to go to work today. Perhaps this will be one of those days where there is a surprise at work.
- Stop Complaining.
No one likes a chronic complainer. It’s not a lot of fun being around people who are always pointing out the wrong, negative or possible problems that could go wrong. We humans don’t thrive on the lower end of the emotional scale. You are no different. You prefer the happy and positive people. Begin with yourself and like what you have to say. You don’t like when others complain to you. You don’t really want to have to deal with other people’s worries, so why would you unload that onto others? Learn to stop complaining by remembering that saying, ‘If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.’ You’ll like yourself better when you keep your mouth shut in these situations.
- Look for things you like about yourself.
Negative people tend to not have a lot of positive things to say about themselves. How about you? If you think positively of yourself, then how come you are so critical about others? If you’re in the latter group, the one where you put yourself down a lot, it’s time to change this attitude and habit. Focus on the few bits about yourself you do like. You don’t have to be perfect or unique to like some of your skills and talents. Learn to find positive things to think about yourself and watch how that becomes part of how you interact with others.
Being more positive starts with you, with how you think about yourself and life in general. You can always see the glass as half empty (downer) or half full (uplifter). There are so many other people out there complaining and being downers, why join that band wagon when you can be on the fun and uplifting side of life? It’s your choice. Make a better one today and see the immediate effects on your personality.