Infidelity comes in all sorts of forms and its’ definition varies depending on the people involved. While there are still people who just want to know how to have a fling and get away with it, there are also the cuckold boys who want to know how to get their wives to cheat, strong wives who want to know more about male chastity belts and even middle-class wives who are thinking about escorting so they can become their own Belle Du Jour.
Still, for those who hope for a “traditional” relationship, they want to know the signs of an affair. The best way to find out if your partner is being unfaithful is to simply ask!. Chances are, you will be able to tell by their reaction to the question even if they lie or avoid answering. And if you have been unfaithful yourself, just tell the truth. Many people aren’t made to be monogamous, and it’s not the extra sex that’s so bad about cheating – it’s the lying about it.
Many couples today, accept the fact that monogamy is an unrealistic expectation and incorporate “cheating” into the terms of their relationship. The term “primary partner” as odd as it sounds, describes such couples. They love and choose to have a lasting relationship with their “primary partner.” They buy the house and have the kids with them BUT…they have “no strings attached” sex with other people, with permission from their primary partner of course. This cannot be considered “cheating” although the traditionalists will argue.
However, for the sake of those that still hold on to the ideals of a traditional marriage, here are a few of the signs of a cheater to watch for:
1. Your partner is suddenly emotionally distant. Guilt is hard to hide and when you are feeling guilty, you can emotionally detach yourself from your partner. Also, there’s usually a bit of infatuation that comes with a new lover, and that can make it hard to be as intimate with your primary partner.
2. Contraception. If your husband or boyfriend used to be aloof about wearing condoms but is suddenly wrapping up his jewels, then he’s probably worried about getting caught by giving you an STD. If your wife or girlfriend used to be very careful about birth control but is suddenly very willing to provide unprotected sex, she may be worried that her lover got her pregnant and wants to make sure you think you are the father.
3. Unexplained credit card charges or bank withdrawals. It’s impossible to have an affair for free. Even a woman with a very secure lover will still need cab fare – and will probably buy a second cell phone.
4. Change in clothing styles. Men will buy themselves new clothes when they have a new woman. Women will buy new underwear. We all naturally want to look our best for our new conquest.
5. Bruises or scratches on their bodies. People are sexually territorial. A man will often try to bruise his married lover’s body during sex. A woman will often scratch her married lover’s body. It’s natural to want to mark them – so if you see any unexplained minor injuries, start asking questions.
6. New sexual techniques or positions. Did your husband suddenly become wonderful at oral sex? Is your wife interested in back door play for the first time? Someone has shown them the ropes.
7. Silence during sex. This can mean they are afraid they will accidentally call out their lover’s name.
8. They suddenly become paranoid that you are cheating on them. This happens because they feel guilty themselves and want to misplace the blame.
9. Whenever you check their Internet cache it’s always squeaky clean. You’d be surprised but many, many cheaters like to blog about their extracurricular adventures. This means they need to make sure they leave no traces on their computer.
10. They start “going to the gym” more, but you don’t notice that they are getting into any better shape. Going to the gym is the excuse of choice for cheaters, because it gives them an hour or two away from home and an excuse to shower before they come back. But, really, if he or she is working out two or three times a week, you’d notice a difference in their bodies.