Women often find themselves in precarious conditions because they are unaware of or oblivious to the rules of conduct and situation from the male perspective. Women even in the most positive sense take up the role of the victim too readily, easily and far too often. It seems that women are often not ready to make the commitment to changing their thinking, habits, self destructive lifestyles, and ideas about modesty. All men are potential rapists therefore women must be able to distinguish men according to fact and circumstances rather than feelings and delusions. This is where the “Five Rules” come in to protect women not just from men but from their own misconceptions and fears. Rapes just don’t happen as a rule there is premeditation involved from the male point of view and often considerable logical thought. Being a man the natural inclination is to treat other men (especially those unknown) with a definite degree of mutual caution if not suspicion, although commonly men share the threat of mutual destruction if violence ensues. Women do not have the protection of mutual aggression, strength and the assured possibly devastating retaliation. Men do not have fear of women and males of other species from chimpanzees to dogs can identify women as female, rank them as dominate or non dominate and threaten them accordingly. However with human males they are much more cautious because they know they can never be sure of the outcome. With this in mind, I have developed Five Rules that if followed could serve any woman in any society quite well if taken seriously.
1. Wild Kingdom Rules
Men consciously or unconsciously are able view women in a way women do not perceive. For rough example a panther, leopard or any big cat watches the landscape from a high place or the shadows and learns the habits routine and movements of its prey. It logically uses this information to stalk, herd, ambush, and ultimately attack its prey, while the prey almost always stays in reactive mode rather that a proactive one. The prey’s defense is to be alert, panic and to flee but even this has a predictable pattern and the big cats count on this because they are often fed by it. Women must assume they are being watched especially when they have no apparent male companion or relatives that are frequently visible. Profiles on serial rapist bear out the fact that the most dangerous men are not men of other social economic, racial, or cultural groups, but rather the men that seem to fit in from the victims own race, economic strata and cultural settings. These are the men women look at but don’t see (hiding in plain sight using the best camouflage of all) because society has trained them not to. Nice upscale gated community may not just be locking the undesirables out but locking potential victims in with the real sex criminals. Assume the men in the neighborhood, on the street, at the job, clubs, sports events etc. know a lot more about local women than they think. Today’s new casual male friend, sports partner, or associate could be tomorrows date rapist or nighttime intruder. The clean cut very socially acceptable men can be the ones with the most skeletons in their dark mental closets, and the criminal animal mind can be shockingly logical. Do not jog or walk alone especially in deserted or semi deserted places like wooded areas, roads, parks, alley ways, bike paths etc. and never at dawn, dusk or after dark. There have been instances of mountain lions attacking or even killing women in secluded locations and they don’t have the advantages of a human brain as men evidently do.
2. Prison Sex Rules
An office, a hotel, a park, a mall parking lot, a parking garage or entire city can be a prison because men are nearby and women know nothing of their true intent. Women must mentally function the way a man would if incarcerated, be aware, be cautious, be armed if possible (a key, a pen or pencil, a magazine, etc. are all weapons of opportunity if used correctly) “soap on a rope” can do a lot of damage to a human being in or out of the showers and they won’t see it coming. The point is not to have sex with anyone because sex and violence have no distinction in a confined environment and men recognize the predatory nature and tendency of man. Don’t assume anyone is a friend and never smile. Don’t do favors for anyone. Don’t accept gifts even small ones from any man (candy, cigarettes, money etc). Remember yes means “yes” maybe means “yes” and most important “no” means “yes” to “sex” in any conversation no matter what the weaker parties intent or the conversational context. Never show fear rather be stoic or show aggression stay as quiet and detached as possible, quiet people are hard to fathom and unpredictable when under attack. Know your escape routes, never turn your back; if you have to flee use your head stay lucid and a fighting retreat can spoil the plans and aggression of an attacker. Last of all prepare yourself to mentally deal with the possibility of gang rape. If men use violence against men in the form of rape in prison then certainly it will be used against weaker and often less savvy women.
3. Cover-up Rules
A woman’s best preventative defense is to recover from her mis-education and indoctrination that presents women as sex objects to sell everything from cars to toothpaste. Women put more clothes on for protection to mask the female shape which prevents men from imprinting. When a man sees a woman in a state of undress (and this does not mean she is naked but dressed too scantly) men make assumptions the woman is loose or less worthy of respect. Nuns, Muslim women that cover, and modestly dressed women are treated differently, with more respect and are much less likely to be molested verbally or otherwise by men. Many men control their desires and curiosity when it comes to women but this is not necessarily the rule. A woman displayed in public can incite lust and bad behavior in men the same way a gun brandished in public incites fear and uncertainty. It is not hard to see women that are wearing garments that are too tight, see through, too shear, too small or too short chafe at unwanted male attentions that range from hard stares, cat calls, whistles, to blocking her path and touching. Not to mention men that are seen with women dressed like this don’t exactly garner the respect of other men. Men in authority from bosses to policemen are men too and certainly capable of committing heinous crimes against women, so don’t be fooled. There are many beautiful types of apparel available for women to look smart while being covered. Men that see women covered are more likely to offer a modicum of respect and keep their distance if nothing else and those with bad intentions are more likely to choose another female victim less dressed. There is no death penalty for rape in most western countries and the burden of proof is on the woman so if nothing else, more clothes will make it at least more difficult for any attacker. How conservative a woman dresses can make her a much smaller target of opportunity.
4. Lifestyle Rules
Drugs, alcohol, questionable locations and late hours open up so many opportunities for rape one hardly knows where to begin. Women seen in this frame work are in serious trouble no matter how many times they have lived through it without incident it only has to go wrong once. Women that have decided to be drug addicts alcoholics prostitutes, or just happen to live on the streets tend to instinctively know rape is a definite part in their world. Rape leaves them with survival skills, STD’s, PTSD, and another filthy memory awash in a sea of substance abuse, poverty and fear. However no one prepares or warns the new female recruit fresh from home about the military services which are more dangerous rape and sexual assault wise than any dark street corner or alleyway. The news contains a litany of articles and stories about females being sexually mis-treated while in the military but the general public only seems to turn a blind eye when confronted with this disturbing truth. Media sources remain relatively mute when the subject of rape is mentioned in conjunction with the military. Instead the focus is on “don’t ask don’t tell” when in reality the spotlight needs to be on female rights and safety in the military and the phase should be “don’t tell don’t ask” because this is the real “defacto” policy of the military. Male soldiers are directly or indirectly responsible for more female enlisted deaths injuries and attacks than the Taliban or the so called Al Qaeda combined. The families of the female enlisted victims cannot seem to get true and correct information from the military let alone consistent actual arrests and convictions. Therefore the military is a very hazardous lifestyle choice for any woman, in fact more dangerous than being on the streets doing drugs and alcohol. Choose a lifestyle after careful consideration but never assumed that even lifestyles of the norm are safe.
5. Combat Rules
Violence is something to be avoided at all cost, unless the cost is your right to your own personal physical and mental well being. For a woman facing a serious threat from a man or men bent on the violence of rape the play book of human kindness immediately goes out the window. In fact she will find that her best savior is herself and this will require conviction and commitment. Even the most fearful woman must dig down deep to find the where with all to do what she must, “survive”! The women of Bosnia, Chechnya, Darfur, Kashmir, Rwanda, Uganda, and thousands of rape victims in the USA can tell about the horrors of being in a rape situation and how they wish they could have avoided being a victim if only they could have defended themselves. Women often first respond to an impending attack with fear and indecision this conveniently paralyzes them at the most crucial moment. At that moment a woman must react by doing what the attacker least expects commit to combat “hit harder faster more often and hit him first”! Of course sharp contact with vital sensitive areas of the male anatomy can have the added beneficial effect of making any male attacker unable to perform or perpetuate an attack. This is something that is not hard to do regardless of height weight or strength but women are almost never taught this. I urge all women take a few hours learn some form of self defense get use to the feeling of combat and how to keep yourself calm and thinking during it, because attackers tend to be careless, arrogant and make a lot of mistakes. A little preparation and a lot of conviction to self preservation are better than a million hours of post rape counseling; counsel yourself to “win” before it ever happens!