Teen Suicide Survivor

The Pistol Star

“He’s gone”, these words can mean all kinds of things to billions of different people, but when spoken to me on the night of December 7th, 2005, they only had one meaning, one meaning to one simple phrase that consists of two simple words that completely, single-handedly destroyed my picture-perfect life. The power of these two words were unbelievable, they crushed my heart, destroyed my faith, and broke any hope for love in my life. I could never trust anyone for as long as I live on this planet. Two simple words: “he’s gone”, Spoken to me with such ease they cut me like strong, powerful sharp blades and ripped my soul ’til it bled and died. “He’s gone” took every tear in my little ten-year old body and poured them into an endless stream of impeccable pain and loss. “He’s gone” continues to replay over and over in my head as I search for an answer in this terrible never ending nightmare of a life. “He’s gone” happened on an ordinary yet unforgettable December day, like any other, but it tore and twisted my life ’til there was nothing left but an empty hole in a little girl’s heart that could never be filled. He’s gone?

The powerful stench of the Richmond Mental Hospital was not like any regular hospital, it was much worse than that. It didn’t look like a hospital, it smelled like one and without a doubt, people were sick. It wasn’t the same kind of sick that I was familiar with. These patients weren’t cut, bleeding, injured, or broken… where I could see. Two weeks had passed without seeing my dad, ever since that horrific night, on October 21st, 2005. I had so many questions but my mom said to act normal, so we wouldn’t upset my dad. We traveled through the hospital’s empty rooms until my dad’s face awoke out of the dark, to greet the life he’d left behind. His face appeared before me, it was exactly how I remembered only… this wasn’t my dad, not at all. No, my dad was always smiling, joyful, funny, and kind. He was the perfect dad that every little girl dreamed of having. The man that sat before me was dead. He was lost, without hope, very much alive and breathing, but he was dead. It was as if his soul had been taken from him and now he was left with a lifeless corpse. The doctors all explained as clearly as they possibly could that my dad was sick, only it was a kind of sick that you couldn’t see with your eyes and a sick that couldn’t be cured with a band-aid or some loving care from your mom. He was diagnosed with clinical depression, these words meant nothing to a ten-year old who’s only worries in life were making her father proud or finishing homework on time, it was never ‘if I’d even have a dad to make proud?’.The more the doctor explained, the more he began to make sense. He also explained what happened before dad left, the night he was “taken” by his depression.

Dad was gone all day. We didn’t know where he went and this wasn’t like him at all. In fact, it was so unlike him that it terrified us to think about what could be happening. My mom had a few ideas. She checked his credit card for some trace on my dad’s whereabouts. We came to find out that on, October 21st, dad drove to South Carolina (approximately two hours from our Georgia home) and purchased a pistol. I could tell from the overwhelming fear in my mom’s eyes as she stormed out of the office that it wasn’t good. We’d never needed a reason to call the police before that night.

In a matter of minutes, my mom had the police in South Carolina looking for my dad; they located him in a hotel room near Calhoun Falls, a quiet town where he must’ve strategically decided to escape to. I curled up into my parents’ bed with my sister and brother as the emergency babysitter waited downstairs for my mom and dad to return. I fell asleep and dreamt of the days that my dad and I would practice basketball together. We spent hours and hours shooting hoops, working on dribbling, passing, and defense. As the coach of every basketball, soccer, and softball team I was involved with throughout my childhood, my dad absolutely loved playing sports. For every single point I scored, I could count on him being on the sidelines cheering me on. After a successful win, my dad and I would drive to the diner and enjoy a victory chocolate shake. He would look at me and say “throw me the ball and watch what I do with it!” with a huge grin on his face. I dreamt that those days would never end, that he’d be here again and by my side forever. I dreamt of running to a place where there was no pain, no loss, no terrifying thoughts that he wouldn’t return, no fear, and definitely no crying. In a place like this, I’d never have to worry about my life breaking apart and my ground being pulled out from beneath my stable, trusting feet. I dreamt of looking into his eyes again, knowing he’d be okay. I dreamt of a world where there was no sickness, or a kind of “sick” that you couldn’t see, no depression, and no hurt. I dreamt of sitting on the wide open countryside, looking into the dark, sad, starry night.

I dreamt of the night that my dad and I drove everywhere and anywhere until we ended up in a place in the middle of nowhere. We looked up into the sky and I glanced up at him, he was deep in thought about something and strangely enough, I knew exactly what he was thinking. Looking up at the stars, I thought about where they came from, where we came from, and where we all went when we left. “What do you think happens… when you die?” I said.

“What do you mean?” he replied.

“Well I like to think we become the stars” I said as we both starred aimlessly into the night sky, “As soon as we die we go up into the sky for all the people who ever loved us to look up at and think about and remember”.

“When I’m gone, you just look up at the sky and I promise I will be there, looking down at you smiling. I’ll be there shining brighter than any star in the sky, just for you”… He said smiling.

I woke up in my dad’s arms as he gently placed me onto my bed and without a single word, he walked out of my room and shut the door, shutting me out of his life in a moment where I wanted nothing more than to be in it. When I wanted nothing but answers, he couldn’t even hear my angry cries for help and to hear him say, “I’ll be here forever and always baby girl”, like he always told me. That night died along with all hope that my dad was fine when the next day came along and he was checked into the hospital. I didn’t know what made him run away, what made him buy that gun, or why he was sick but I hoped and prayed for him to get better soon so I could have my dad back. At this time in my life, I wanted nothing more than to have him with me forever and always, just like he promised.

Two months without having my dad around tore me apart. It made me realize how much he truly meant to me and how much I depend on him. Life without him here is like walking into a dark room not knowing where to go, what to think, or how I got there. You don’t know where to turn or what to do. Life without my dad is like waking up from a nightmare and realizing that everything you just dreamt up in your mind was real. Without him here, I had no hope, no dreams, no happiness or joy, no laughter or smiling; it was living without the life. After two months that felt like a dark twisted trick God was playing, my dad returned.

The return of my dad wasn’t a return at all. He came back but he wasn’t the same. He wasn’t getting any better in fact… in the hospital, he got much worse. Depression had taken him completely and killed the man we all loved and missed; it forced him to live in the pain of dying over and over again. This dark disease that I didn’t know anything about was killing my dad. He was a good person, he didn’t deserve to die. I’d never known anyone to die. I never saw anyone’s life end but sometimes I thought about what it would be like to lose someone. The only thing I could think of was having an arm taken off your body, you’d always feel like it was still there but when you really needed it most, it wouldn’t be there at all and would never come back. When I really needed my dad he was always there, no matter what it was, I could always just look up at him and see the love behind his eyes. Now that he was sick, when I looked up into his eyes all I saw was death. I saw the death of every day we ever spent together, every time he promised he’d be here forever, every warm embrace of his never ending hugs, the comfort of knowing I’d always have someone to love me unconditionally, and the death of my father.

Wednesday December 7th, 2005 5:45 pm, police house resident reports 3 gun shots and strange screams coming from 244 west lane, Alpharetta Georgia. Inside an abandoned house, investigators discover a 47-year old man positioned in the living room of the cold hearted abandoned home, drenched completely in blood and holding a pistol. Deceased. At 5:41 pm the man shot at a target he’d drawn on the wall. 5:43, another shot goes off and hits the target perfectly in the center. 5:45, the man shot himself in the chest and fell to the ground to later be discovered at 6:08 pm on Wednesday December 7th, 2005.

Mark Joseph Beausir was a man that proved to be an amazingly successful father of three children. He was a good man and a caring, faithful husband to Amy Beausir. He was CEO of a successful software company in Alpharetta, Georgia. Six feet Six inches, he stood high and close to God. He was a big guy with a heart that could only be compared to the size of his smile. Mark provided well for his family and was always involved in his church and kids’ lives. He attended church every Sunday and was the coach for every team his three children were involved with. Every chance he got, he would show love to the people that mattered the most and even more love to the people that didn’t matter at all. Mark had an enormous family with so much love and even more heart. He was a beautiful person and lived a magnificent, unbelievable life.

Born on August 14th, 1958, died 47 years later on December 7th, 2005, Mark only lived a short time. Forty seven years of pure love, laughs, and time, 24719556 minutes, 1779848640 heart beats, 296438400 breaths, 121 liters of tears, 38352 hours spent on the computer, 46318400 steps walked, 20160 minutes spent kissing, 10000 chocolate bars, 150 pounds of sugar eaten, and… for this particular person, 4 broken hearts plus one broken promise. When we looked back on my dad’s life, he wouldn’t be remembered by any of this. We’d think of him and think of all the love he gave us and how much he touched our lives. The average human is expected to live to be 72 years old. For this human, he missed 25 Christmases, 25 valentines days, 3 sweet-sixteen parties, 2 weddings of girls walking themselves down the aisle, 1 boy growing into a man, the graduation of three very successful college students he helped raise, the winning point scored, the school record being broken for girls’ high jump, 7 stitches and 3 twisted ankles, he missed mending the broken hearts of a sad teenage girl and breaking the face of one disappointing teenage boy, he missed teaching his kids how to drive for the first time, meeting new boyfriends and girlfriends, hating old boyfriends and girlfriends, he missed seeing the first steps of his grandkids and spoiling them rotten, he missed new inside jokes and reflecting back on old ones, he missed seeing his kids grow up and most of all, we missed him.

The average human spends 63 hours a year laughing, Mark was an extraordinary person but he still had 99225 hours left of endless laughs. Mark still had 788923150 seconds of life to live but his life was taken from him by this heart wrenching darkness we called an illness. He left me behind but I know deep in my heart, he is always going to be by my side. I hope that one day I’ll see him again and I like to think he is still watching over me like he said he would.

There are over 100 billion stars in our universe. On December 7th, 2005 a new class of Supergiant Binary stars was discovered. Among these stars, there was one special one. It was the most gigantic, brightest binary star ever to be discovered. Scientists were amazed at this discovery and named it “The Pistol Star”. It had a solar mass of 80-150 and shined brighter than any other star in the sky, a true miracle.

Tuesday December 7th, 2010, it has been five years since my dad died and it still feels like the same wound opening up every day, it feels like only yesterday my dad was taken from me. I lie down in my bed and I dream. I dream about you, the wonderful father that I lost and will forever miss. I dream of a never ending life absent of fear and pain. I dream of days where the sun never stops shining and you’ll be by my side. I dream of the day you and I drove everywhere and anywhere till we ended up in a place called nowhere. Where I looked up into the sky at the shining stars and wished that you’d be here forever. I looked at you and asked what happened when we died. You looked me straight in the eye and said, “When I’m gone, you just look up at the sky and I promise I will be there, looking down at you smiling. I’ll be there shining brighter than any star in the sky, just for you”. The bright and glorious ‘Pistol Star’ still shines to this day, brighter than any other star in our galaxy. It was born on December 7th, 2005… The day you died.

The Real Definition of Good Health

In 1948, the World Health Organization defined good health as; “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”

This definition of health holds as true today as it did back in 1948. Though the WHO may have modified their definition since then, the state of health for many today is dismal. Diseases such as cancer, diabetes, arthritis and heart disease are increasing rapidly throughout the world and no one appears to have a clue as to how to cure disease other than treat it through drugs and surgery.

Ask anyone on the street and you are likely to get the answer that health for them means the absence of pain and illness. Many say they are healthy even though they take a pharmacy of drugs and medications to feel that way.

As the years have slipped by more people have adopted the Western style diet, a diet of highly refined foods loaded with sodium, sugar, fat and chemical additives. Highly stressed lifestyles combined with bad habits such as smoking and the pollutants in the food, air and water insure that the quality of life is severely compromised. There’s little good in living longer if those extra years are filled with pain an disease.

Today’s diseases are the result of poor lifestyle choices. Aside from the fact that most diets are high in fat, most of the produce on supermarket shelves is severely depleted of the essential vitamins and minerals that were abundant in the diet of those who lived a hundred years ago. Today’s food is mass produced and comes from farms whose soils have been sterilized and robbed of minerals. Food is made to look good and have a long shelf life, but not produced to promote health.

Today’s medical establishment projects the idea that sickness is a part of life and inevitable. The older you get, the sicker you will be and the more you’ll require medical intervention. But the truth is that a healthy body doesn’t get sick. A body with a strong immune system has many checks and balances that insure that good health is maintained. Even today you’ll find centenarians that don’t require crutches to get around or languish in a nursery home waiting for the bliss of death to take them. Health is not all due to hereditary factors.

Those centenarians have no special health genes to help them live so long. What they do have is what’s lacking in the lives of the majority of people today. Those healthy old folks are active. They eat fresh fruits and vegetables, foods high in fiber and low in simple carbohydrates. They get fresh air and don’t smoke or drink to excess. You’ll likely find them living in their own homes and getting about without walkers and canes.

Maintaining good health has to start with the belief that it is possible to become healthy and stay that way by implementing good lifestyle choices. Unfortunately, few people have the incentive to make those changes. A stressed and hurried lifestyle doesn’t allow many to stop and take an inventory of themselves and the goals for future well-being.

With all that we’ve discovered about the functioning of the body and its ability to heal itself, there is no excuse why anyone should continue to live an an unhealthy lifestyle that shortens the quality of life. The real definition of good health is by making a complete change of lifestyle through eating a good diet, exercising regularly, living relatively stress free, getting enough sleep and throwing out the cigarettes and drugs. Doing so would reduce the epidemics of today’s modern diseases and restore the balance and enjoyment that life should be.

Prescription Drug Addiction is Not an ‘Incurable Brain Disease’

If you or someone you love suffers from drug dependence or addiction, you need to know that it is not an ‘incurable brain disease’. Countless thousands of people recover their health and achieve drug-free lives every year, whether their problems are alcoholism, addiction to illicit street drugs, or the most recent scourge in America, prescription drug addiction.

Only those with a financial interest in keeping people addicted to some kind of drug, rather than embracing real recovery, could possibly subscribe to the ‘incurable brain disease’ theory of addiction. Research efforts to prove that addiction is incurable is usually paid for by Big Pharma, looking for ways to sell more drugs, and by psychiatric-driven government grants. They refuse to acknowledge the recoveries from addiction that take place in the real world on a daily basis.

Changes in biochemistry do occur when we imbibe alcohol or take drugs, but that does not constitute an ‘incurable brain disease’ any more than the those that take place when we eat chocolate, watch a movie, smell a skunk, or recall a love affair. When people do almost anything, or think about almost anything, biochemical changes are taking place. That’s how the brain and body function — we are, physically at least, a busy biochemical factory of incalculable complexity.

Consider these facts:

Drugs and alcohol don’t affect everyone’s brain in the same way.

The severity of the effects they do have vary widely from person to person.

While many try the same substances, only a few become addicted.

No two people react exactly the same way to the same mental or physical stimuli. This is as true for the effects of drugs, and for an addict’s emotional involvement in drug addiction, as it is when we devour a bowl of our favorite ice cream, or watch Tiger Woods finesse a 30-yard, tournament-winning putt. It’s all input, and we all react and interact in our own way.

None of the moment-to-moment alterations in brain chemistry or brain function, no matter what causes them, have ever led to a cure for anything. Therefore, say the brain disease theorists, it must be incurable. With all their years probing brain function and studying brain chemistry, they know less about addiction that is useful than your neighborhood mechanic knows about your car. At least he can fix the family sedan when it stops working.

And don’t forget that hundreds of clinical trials for drugs purported to treat ‘brain diseases’ or ‘brain malfunctions’ like depression, have all shown placebos achieving equal or even better results than the brain drugs. And that’s without the laundry list of dangerous and even deadly drug side effects.

There may be a genetic or metabolic component to the ease and speed with which some people become physically dependent on a drug. But again, this is not evidence of any neurological, genetic, metabolic or any other physical ‘incurable brain disease’. Whether it is alcoholism, crack, heroin or methadone addiction, or any kind prescription drug addiction, there is plenty of evidence to show that addiction is, in fact, a curable condition. Thousands of former addicts now walking around healthy and substance-free attest to that fact.

The widespread failure of most commonly available drug detox and rehab programs are not because addiction is an ‘incurable brain disease’. Rampant rehab failures exist because of lousy detox protocols, and lousy, too-short rehab programs.

Medically supervised detox programs based on each patient’s unique metabolism, health requirements and personal needs, are routinely successful. These are the opposite of the ubiquitous, unreliable ‘one-size-fits-all’ detox programs which fail to properly set someone up for drug rehab.

Then, the usual 30-day rehab programs that abound across the country are doomed to horrendous rates of relapse, because they are too shallow, and too short. This has led many people to consider real recovery an impossible dream. But research has absolutely proven that serious addictions, including any prescription drug addiction, requires at least 90 days — and double that time is not out of the question.

A personally-tailored medical drug detox program, followed by a suitably lengthy period in rehab, will accomplish two very important things: It will give you your life back, and prove you weren’t suffering from an ‘incurable brain disease’.

Health Insurance Costs and Modern Medicine

It seems that the more insurance one has the higher go the fees. Doctors now earn substantially more than they did proportionally few years ago. While they know that their patients can recover most of the cost for their service they rarely get an argument from them. In Australia we have the Medicare system that covers everything for those without private health.

The previous Prime Minister, Tony Abbot, put this extra burden on people that they must have health insurance. Only the pensioners above 75 years are now covered by bulk billing. That is they are not charged and the government pays for them. Prior to the Abbot changes everyone had this type of benefit but the cost was unsustainable.

Because of that rise in fees the government is now looking for ways to cut it back even further. The increase in population from overseas migrants is putting an extra burden on the system. Some of these people will go to two or three doctors in the same day thinking they will get better quicker. Some are also getting extra drugs and selling them overseas.

Modern medicine is expensive and now the vets are also on a par with the medical profession as far as fees go. The debate that they do much the same amount of study is a logical claim but when one has no insurance against their bills it is rather tough for many to afford it. Pet ownership is suffering as a result.

We can’t go backwards to old systems because it becomes too complicated. Once people earn more it is hard to take it away again. This is yet another dilemma the government is dealing with as there appears to be no way they can force a decrease in the cost of the medical bills covered by their program. The cost of private insurance is also rising beyond what most and now afford.

Energy Medicine – Linking To Restore Communication Within The BodyMind

Linking to restore communication.

Ask the body what needs to be linked in order to reestablish good communication and stimulate the healing response.

In the BodyTalk system practitioners learn a protocol of questions to ask that quickly reveals exactly what organs or systems need synchronizing within a client's bodymind.

In a simple linking procedure a client will touch one reflex point, the first link indicated by way of questioning innate and you, the practitioner, will touch the second reflex point.

You are always synchronizing and balancing the communications or relationships between organizations and systems within the BodyMind.

Tapping the cortices and sternum stores information.

While a client holds one reflex point and you another, use your free hand to gently tap both hemispheres of the brain (to re-evaluate and balance the links being touched), then tap the sternum (to store the information); alternating tapping of both hemispheres of the brain and the sternum as the client breathes deeply.

The tapping is continued until a shift is felt. The muscle is then retested, asking if the link is still a priority.

Example: Touch reflex points for Heart to Small Intestinal links while tapping the head and sternum alternately. This link enhances ones ability for wise discernment among other things.

Join me for the next segment of my Energy Medicine article: Balancing Cortices Energy Medicine Technique.

Holistic MindBody Therapies, including pure essential oils, are gentle and noninvasive, complementary forms of health care used for balancing and synchronizing your body, mind and spirit and a natural, safe and effective way to enhance your health and well-being. Holistic health care often produces satisfied results where other methods have failed. Please consult with your physician regarding serious health concerns and do not attempt to self diagnose.

L-Arginine – Important in Regulation Blood Pressure and Wound Healing

Arginine is an essential amino acid that it is naturally manufactured by the body and does not have to be obtained through diet. However, certain normal body processes prevent the body from producing enough arginine, so it is still necessary to obtain it from the diet.

In mammals, however, arginine is considered conditionally essential depending on the individual's stage of development. Infants, for example, do not have the natural capacity to reach their maximum arginine production and therefore to obtain this amino acid through their diet.

Arginine is believed to speed up the healing of wounds. Clinical experiments show that oral supplementation of this amino acid greatly increased the amount of collagen deposited in a wound as demonstrated by the presence of hydroxyproline in the wound site.

An experiment conducted with diabetic rats showed that L-arginine greatly improved wound healing and increased wound hydroxyproline levels among the diabetic laboratory animals. The supplement also significantly increased the amount of wound fluid nitrate and nitrite levels.

Diabetes mellitus, which slows down wound healing causes a reduction in nitric oxide at the wound site. Since L-arginine is the only substrate or chemical base for nitric oxide production, it has become widely used to treat diabetic wounds and the result is the simultaneous production of nitric acid in the wound site.

L-arginine is also believed to remove ammonia from the body. Ammonia is an important source of nitrogen. It is produced by the body through normal acid metabolism and can be toxic when there is too much of it in the body. Cirrhosis, a kind of liver disease may cause an increased level of ammonia in the blood. If this happens, the patient can be given arginine supplementation to prevent ammonia toxicity.

L-arginine also participates in cell division. Experiments show that the rate of uptake and the break down of arginine doubled during the first half of the cell cycle accepted by an increased rate of amino acid biosynthesis and an accumulation of amino acids. Even if there was an increase in the amino acid pools, the use of arginine and other amino acids for macromolecular synthesis demonstrated a steady increase through the cell cycle.

It also plays an important role in strengthening the immune system by stimulating and enhancing the production of T-lymphocytes. T-lymphocytes or T-cells are white blood cells produced by the thymus glands that act as defense system of the body by directly attacking abnormal cells and regulating the response of other T-cells.

Arginine is also known to enhance the release of human growth hormone from the pituitary glands thus taking this oral supplement may result in a rapid increase in height in growing children.

It is also believed that this substance can reduce blood pressure. Nitric oxide, which is produced from arginine is a vasodilator responsible for the widening of blood vessels resulting to the relaxation of muscles in the arteries, arterioles and veins.

Arginine can be found in abundance in cottage cheese, ricotta, milk, yogurt, whey protein drinks, beef, bacon, ham, gelatin, chicken and turkey light meat, pheasant, quail, seafood, halibut, lobster, salmon, shrimp, snails, tuna, wheat germ and flour, buckwheat, granola, oatmeal, peanuts, coconut, pecans, cashews, walnuts, almonds, Brazil nuts, hazelnuts, pine nuts, pumpkin, sesame, sunflower seeds, chick peas, and cooked soy beans.

For more information on how arginine can heal wounds fast, strengthen the immune system and lower blood pressure, log on to: http://purebulk.com/l-arginine-base

Natural Remedies Help Soothe Symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome

If you suffer from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), you do not have to live in constant discomfort. Studies have show that through diet, supplements and lifestyle changes, one can reduce and even eliminate most symptoms.

o Fiber matters. Adequate dietary fiber is important, but what is more important is the adequate consumption of soluble fiber. Soluble fiber helps prevent diarrhea and constipation as well as regulating intestinal spasms and easing cramps and pain. Good sources of soluble fiber include raw or steamed vegetables, apples, pears, berries, unprocessed roled oats, barley, rye, brown rice, psyllium husks and seeds, and spelt products. Insoluble fiber includes wheat, bran, nuts, legumes and salad greens, is best avoided initially until IBS symptoms settle down. These foods may be reintroduced later as digestion improvements.

o Glutamine. Glutamine, a type of amino acid, has a particular affinity for the digestive and nervous systems, helping to heal an irritated gut lining and reducing allergic responses to foods.

o Slippery elm. This herb is a bowel normaliser, meaning it can be used for both constipation and diarrhea. It settles the gut, alleviating cramps, wind, reflux and acidic indigestion.

o Aloe vera. Taken just before bed, aloe vera juice is very effective for constipation. It also has a mild detoxifying effect, helping to heal and soothe the gastrointestinal tract. It can be taken together with glutamine and slippery elm.

o Probiotics. Maintaining sufficient good bacteria in our gastrointestinal tract is important for healthy digestion. Probiotics can be bought in powder or capsule and should be taken twice daily before meal. Lactobacillus plantarum is also very effective. Boosting your digestive enzymes can aid the absorption of nutrients in the body.

o More herbs. Strong fennel, ginger and peppermint teas help alleviate wind, pain and nausea. They also increase gut motility. These herbs can be taken in tablet or capsule form if you do not like the taste of the teas.

o The right fats. Essential fatty acids (EFAs), especially the omega 3 fatty acids, reduce the inflammation associated with IBS. Eat oily fish regularly and / or take a fish or flaxseed oil supplement. These oils also have numerous other health benefits for the immune and cardiovascular systems. Flaxseed oil also reduces allergic tendencies. If you have a sensitive stomach, take oils in small quantities at a time and always with food.

Foods to Avoid

o Dairy products. Many people with IBS have a shortfall of laxtase, the enzyme that breaks down milk sugar. Stick to dairy free options, such as soy, rice, almond or oat milk. Most are available in organic and low-fat versions.

o Gluten. May present in wheat and also some other grains.

o Sugar, and artificial sweeteners, especially sorbitol.

o Red meat, which is high in saturated fat and hard-to-digest animal protein.

o Caffeine. This causes the bowel to spasm. Choose fruity hearbal teas, brewed beverages made from roasted carob or nuts, or white tea, which has only a mount of caffeine.

o Alcohol, especially on an empty stomach. Alcohol-free wine and beer are better choices.

o Soft drinks and carbonated beverages, including mineral waters, which can cause bloating and wind.

Swine Flu and Options Trading

The recent global spreading of the Swine Flu has welcomed back fearful memories of the avian flu. In fact at this point in time, other than Mexico, USA, Canada, some parts of Europe, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Australia, Israel, Brazil, Colombia, France and the UK have reported confirmed or suspicious cases. So far, 160 have died of the Swine Flu.

The only consolation is that the Swine Flu is now as deadly as the Avian Flu and that its spread has yet to affect stock markets worldwide.

So, what can options traders learn from the Swine Flu incident?

In fact, the Swine Flu incident taught options traders a lot about containment of danger in options trading or what we call stop loss and hedging. The Swine Flu has become the global incident that it is now due to an inability to contain the virus. Most options traders also allow losses to become "global incidents" in their options trading ports because they failed to implement stop losses and hedges in order to contain the "virus".

In fact, some options traders transform into pure gamblers by holding onto options trading positions that are obvious losers. These losses build up and become a cancer that is impossible to heal. The options trading portfolio collapse due to the options traders' inability to contain the initial "outbreak".

No other trading instruments in the world offer as many ways to protect one's positions as stock options do. However, very few options traders plan for and execute sensible stop loss and hedging rules. How can we implement loss controls in our options trading account before losses become too big to salvage?

First of all, we need a sensible stop loss and position sizing policy. Having a sensible stop loss and position sizing policy is like having emergency control procedures during the Swine Flu outbreak. When the virus spreads to certain predefined level, the WHO declares various levels of alertness with appropriate actions to be taken in order to contain or limit the spread. This is exactly the same thing all options traders should be doing. If you are using a speculative, high risk options trading strategy such as an out of the money call option, you should predefine your loss tolerance. Knowing how much money you are willing to lose on each trade and then size the position such that maximum loss falls within those limits. This is an options trader's first line of defense. If a more complex options trading strategy is used where a significant portion of the fund is committed, such as the various income strategies, then sensible stop loss policies should be made before the position is put on. It is recommended that you automate these stop loss policies using automatic contingent or conditional orders so that you do not break these policies on emotion. Like the Swine Flu, it can be hard for governors to call an emergency when emergency limits are first reached. Emotions do get in the way and voices in your head croiss out "What if I am wrong?". Such emotions do nothing but miss the best chance of containing losses. This is why automated orders are so important in options trading these days.

Just as vaccines can be developed against the Swine Flu virus, hedges can be implemented to "heal" losing options trading positions. In fact, properly implemented hedges can transform the directional inclination of a losing options trading position and "nurse the position back to health" as the new outlook develops. One of the most common methods of hedging used both to limit losses as well as to recover the health of a losing position is the Delta Neutral hedging. In a delta neutral hedge, you will bring the overall position delta of the options trading position to zero or very close to zero but with a positive gamma by buying or shorting additional options. When a position is delta neutral with a positive gamma, it will gain in value no matter if the underlying asset goes upwards or downwards as long as the movement is significant. This will help to stop the loss from spreading and slowly recover the health of the options trading position as the new trend develops.

Yes, losses in options trading ports are as deadly as the Swine Flu. The most critical thing to do is to limit and contain its "outbreak" through the implementation of stop loss, position sizing and hedging procedures that are objectively set in stone and implemented using automated orders. Only then will you be able to save your portfolio from the outbreak of losses that occurs so much more often than the deadly flu virus.

Antique Car Museum Guide – Virginia Car Museums

You don’t have to go far in the state of Virginia to find an antique car museum. Virginia is home to at least eight (or nine, if you stretch your definition of “car” to include tanks!). Here is a listing of all the vintage car collections I can find information on in Virginia.

The Car and Carriage Caravan Museum at the Luray Caverns traces the history of transportation in America. Items on display include horse-drawn carriages, coaches, wagons, and early automobiles. The automotive collection includes an 1892 Benz, a 1908 Baker Electric, a 1913 Stanley Steamer, and Rudolph Valentino’s 1925 Rolls Royce. You must purchase an admission to the Luray Caverns to get in to the museum. (540) 743 – 6551

The Roaring Twenties Antique Car Museum in Hood features 32 vintage cars on display, mostly from the 1920s and 1930s. The collection includes examples from Carter, Star, Stephen, Cleveland, Hupmobile, Paige, Nash, Essex, Packard and Cadillac. There are also horse-drawn carriages, old farm implements, and period advertising on display. (540) 948 – 6290

The Virginia Museum of Transportation in Roanoke has cars and other vehicles from nearly every decade of the twentieth century. The museum focuses primarily on the railroad industry, but also has an aviation and aerospace section. (540) 342 – 5670

Fred’s Car Museum in Appomattox holds more than sixty five antique cars, dating from 1906 up to 1980. Highlights of the collection include a 1906 Schacht, a 1914 Saxton, a 1920 Piano Box Buggy, a 1936 Packard, and a very rare 1939 Lincoln V-12 limo. (434) 352-0606

The Accomack-Northampton Antique Car Museum in Parksley features a 1922 Durant, a 1935 Auburn, a 1956 Thunderbird, and lots of automobilia. (757) 665 – 6161

Eavers Classic Cars and Collectibles Museum in Staunton has over twenty classic cars on display, including a genuine 1965 Shelby AC Cobra, Elvis Presley’s last Cadillac, and a 1959 Devin sports car. (540) 337 – 1126

Old Cranks Motor Car Museum in Galax has a unique assortment of antique cars including a one-cylinder Orient Buckboard, a Detroit Electric and a Stanley Steamer. (276) 236 – 5114.

The Wood Brothers Racing Museum in Stuart covers 58 years of racing history. You can view the 1971 Purolator Mercury Cyclone, a 1989 Neil Bonnet Thunderbird, and a 1937 Glen Wood Ford Coach. There are also trophies, racing suits and helmets, and tons of other racing memorabilia. (276) 694 – 2121

The AAF Tank Museum in Danville doesn’t have antique cars, but I couldn’t leave them out! Their collection includes 117 tanks and artillery pieces, plus over twenty thousand other military related artifacts dating all the way back to 1509! (434) 836-5323

Quite a variety for the automotive enthusiast to choose from if you are passing through Virginia, or live nearby. As always, call ahead for information on hours and holiday schedules before making the trip.

Umbilical Cord Blood Banking – A Responsible Decision

By the end of this article, you should have gained enough new knowledge on this subject to be able to explain its main points to another person.

Are you pregnant with a baby?

You grab every offered book on the question of pregnancy. You donate no gemstone unturned. You want to be well learned. Openly.

Jason and his partner were no different. They stilt they had it all roofed-that is awaiting a few weeks before the pitched court of freedom. That is when a code on television tainted their lives. The code dealt with cord blood caching. Just another device, stilt Jason firstly. However, after intensive inquiries, there was no denying that cord blood caching was a main development, remedially dialogue. In detail, so positive were Jason and his partner that they definite to gather cord blood during the birth of their baby. Little did they grasp what an important decision that was? That blood would avert their baby’s life, many being down the line. Flex blood caching can be lifesavers for your family too.

From now until the now until the end of this article, take the time to think about how all of this information can help you.

What is flexing Blood saving?

Flex blood caching is a breakthrough in blood caching. It involves the collection and mass room of blood from the umbilical cord, which connects the baby to the mother in the womb. Discarding cord blood, along with the lasting umbilical cord and the placenta, was stock method. However, the discovery that cord blood is a plentiful trace of stem groups revolutionized remedial perception. Flex blood is now considered to have immense therapeutic amount. The best part is that these stem groups can be conveniently cool from the umbilical cord after birth, lacking hurting moreover the mother or the baby.

Flex Blood is an anodyne and ethical trace of stem groups

What makes cord blood stem groups so unusual? Stem groups have two sole capabilities. They can multiply to deliver more stem groups. A small number of stem groups can be nurtured to produce a substantial number. The stem groups can also transform into any mature adult group, potentially bountiful any flaw organ a moment ability at life. Stem groups are a priceless retrace. The umbilical cord on can be a plentiful trace of stem groups with diverse advantages.

– Stem groups can be certainly obtained from cord blood

– flex blood stem groups are a 100% reach for the patron, 50% reach for biological parents and 25% reach for blood allied siblings and grandparents.

– They are not tumorogenic

– Collecting umbilical cord blood does not hurt the patron in any way

Flex Blood saving is not emergent Stem group inquiries

Unfortunately, controversy surrounding budding stem group inquiries undermines the view of cord blood mass room and adult stem group inquiries. Distinct budding stem group inquiries where developing embryos are the trace for gathering stem groups, cord blood stem group inquiries only uses those stem groups discarded from the umbilical cord after the freedom of the baby. There is no debit of life, as moreover neither the mother nor the baby comes to hurt in any way. Flex blood stem groups are amply correct for therapeutic purposes.

Fairly aware views like cloning force younger stem groups. These stem groups are called budding stem groups and they must be damaged in order to pursue any inquiries. Flex blood stem groups are more mature and are called adult stem groups. They are not handy in controversial fields of stem group inquiries; hence donating cord blood does not violate any ethical standard.

Flex Blood saving: ability at Regeneration

The first umbilical cord blood transplant was done by Professor Blackman in 1989. Flex blood from a sibling was worn to avert a tolerant of François Anemia. Over the last two decades, umbilical cord blood has been worn to remedy more than 75 conditions plus cancers, bone essence collapses, low immune states, genetic disruption in metabolism, concern disease, stroke, many sclerosis and some autoimmune conditions.

The file is rising steadily.

distant from these uses, cord blood stem group inquiries has exposed talented outcome in concern disease, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease and even diabetes. Stem groups can reproduce abandoned pancreatic bandanna which can squirt insulin. We may be able to destroy diabetes with just a shot of compatible baby stem groups from cord blood. The possibilities are relating briskly.

Flex blood from a family limb is haughty to stem groups from bone essence transplants because it doubles abilities of triumph. With ones own cord blood, or blood from a family limb, eliminates the abilities of collapse of reedmen. An unfussy decision in pregnancy can present a game trace of stem groups with no doubts about incompatibility. Flex blood caching presents an ability to renew the stem groups of the unnatural organ.

Everyday Misviewions about flex Blood saving:

Still cord blood is a priceless retrace, these repayment are not well known. A fresh inquiry, available by the Canadian wellbeing Association, prominent that more than half the hopeful parents had meager facts or misviewions about cord blood caching. The most customary misviewion was that cord blood donation could hurt the baby. The inquiry also prominent that an unfussy explanation sufficed to sway them about the advantages of cord blood donation. Impressed with the proof offered, thirteen states have accepted laws to help educate pregnant mothers and sponsor shared cord caching. Flex blood donation and preservation can now be conceded out at no ultra rush. Close family limbs of the patron then have access to correct reaches if the require arises.

How do you donate cord blood?

Flex blood caching starts before the actual court of freedom of the baby. Once you catalog with a cord blood cache, they forward you a kit, containing all the crucial gear for collecting cord blood, along with instructions for the presence doctor, imparter or attention employees. After severing and clamping the umbilical cord in the medium, place partum collection and mass room of the lasting blood from the placental end of the cord, follows. An unusual container carries the cord blood to the cord blood cache. Here unusual separators withdraw the stem groups in the blood. Mass room is at very cold temperatures. The baby suffers no debit or hurt through this method, as there is no blood collection from that end.

Pick the Right flex Blood save

The most crucial decision is to take the right reserved cord blood cache. This is a long-phrase investment. Make reliable that the cord blood cache has the finances and a long-phrase commitment to the pitch. Verify the accreditation of the organization and unreliable that they have a hygienic footprint best. Ask whether they mass the blood themselves or rely on a third revel to sponsor them. Make reliable that the blood will be offered speedily, lacking interval, when you require it most. You can also donate cord blood to a shared cache, which then uses the donated blood for tolerant awaiting reedmen. However, still you have no retrieve over the donated blood; you will have access to a bigger assemble of stem groups. In reserved caches, your cord blood is massed exclusively for your use.

Umbilical cord blood caching was relatively nameless two decades ago. Now cord blood caching is on the head of present remedial inquiries and reedmen. Flex blood caching is an anodyne and ethical trace of stem groups. Preserving cord blood is an action towards protecting the wellbeing of your baby, your family and our citizens.

Seeing believes, but sometimes we can’t all experience every subject in life. This article hopes to make up for that by providing you with a valuable resource of information on this topic.

Is High Cholesterol The Primary Cause Of Heart Disease?

A high blood cholesterol level, especially elevated low density lipoproteins (LDL), is considered to be a contributor to plaque building up in the arteries and impeded blood flow to the brain, kidneys, genitals, extremities, and heart. It is among the primary causes of heart disease, because cholesterol produces deposits in arteries. High cholesterol levels may also be implicated in gallstones, impotence, mental impairment, and high blood pressure.

Cholesterol is an essential part of every cell structure and is needed for proper brain and nerve function. It is also the basis for the manufacture of sex hormones. Cholesterol is manufactured in the liver and transported through the bloodstream to the sites where it is needed. It is a fatty substance and, because blood is mainly water, it has to latch on to molecules called lipoproteins to travel around successfully. Low density lipoproteins (LDLs) are the major transporters of cholesterol in the bloodstream and, because LDLs seem to encourage the deposit of cholesterol in the arteries, it is known as bad cholesterol. High density lipoproteins (HDLs), on the other hand, are to be considered good cholesterol because they carry unneeded cholesterol away from the cells and back to the liver, where it is broken down for removal from the body. If everything is functioning as it should, this system remains in balance. However, if there is to much cholesterol for the HDLs to pick up promptly, or if there are not enough HDLs to do the job, cholesterol can form plaque that sticks to artery walls and may eventually cause heart disease.

It is important to distinguish between serum cholesterol and dietary cholesterol. Serum cholesterol is the cholesterol in the bloodstream. Dietary cholesterol is cholesterol that is present in food. While eating foods high in dietary cholesterol can raise serum cholesterol, it is not the only source in serum cholesterol. Indeed, you would have some amount of serum cholesterol even if you never ate any food containing dietary cholesterol because the body produces its own cholesterol.

Cholesterol levels are greatly influenced by diet, but they are also affected by your genetic makeup. The consumption of foods high in cholesterol and or saturated fat increases cholesterol levels, while a vegetarian diet, regular exercise, and the nutrients niacin and vitamin c may lower cholesterol.

The National Cholesterol Education Program has set the safe level of total serum cholesterol including both LDL and HDL at 200 milligrams per deciliter of blood (mg/dl). A reading above 200 indicates an increased potential developing heart disease. A level of 200 to 239 is borderline, and levels over 240 are considered to indicate high risk. The normal HDL level for adult men in the United States is 45 to 50 mg/dl, and that for woman is 50 to 60 mg/dl. It is suggested that higher HDL levels, such as 70 or 80 mg/dl, may protect against heart disease. An HDL level under 35 mg/dl is considered risky. So if you have a cholesterol reading of 200, with HDL at 80 and LDL at 20, you are considered at low risk of heart disease. On the other hand, even if you have a total cholesterol level well under 200, if your HDL level is under 35, you will still be considered at increased risk of developing cardiovascular disease. In other words, as your HDL decreases, your potential for heart problems intensifies, even if your total is on the low side.

Herbal Erection Pills – Boost Your Sex Life Without Medications

If you want to avoid Viagra, there are other options to consider like herbal erection pills. Find out what other alternatives there are to prescription medications.

Finding the most helpful treatment for erectile dysfunction can be a task. This task can become even more difficult if you are looking for a solution without side effects. These days thousands of men are switching to natural methods rather than resorting to pills. The main reason why ED medications are well-known is because of the side effects sometimes linked with them.

Erectile dysfunction is a common complaint in older men but around 50 per cent of men will have suffered from the issue by the age of 40.

For younger men, doctors assume erection issues are either temporary or a psychological cause.

There are many physical causes for it and reduced blood flow due to smoking, high cholesterol or high blood pressure are the main culprits. Certain medications such as anti-depressants and blood pressure tablets can also interfere with bedroom performance.

Oral Medications

There is a lot of pressure to perform in a given time frame. This is only an hour-long window with Viagra. The effects of Cialis medications can last slightly longer up to 24 hours,

These medications are unsuitable for men with very high blood pressure or other heath concerns. Side-effects can include heartburn, facial flushing, nausea and headaches.

Vacuum pumps

A pump can be used instead of oral medications. This is a good option for men who can’t take pills due to the side effects or where they have stopped working. The risk of side effects or complications can be lower compared to other erectile dysfunction treatments

The overall cost is lower too because after the purchase, there are no ongoing expenses so the costs can be less than some erectile dysfunction treatments.

A cylinder is placed over the manhood and used to create a vacuum. This process draws blood into the penis and a ring is positioned to stop the blood flowing out again.

Care needs to be taken as damage can be caused to the tissues and blood vessels. About 50 per cent of men do find pumps effective. Pain or bruising is sometimes reported but knowing how to use the pump properly in the first place can help avoid injury.

Herbal Erection Pills To Overcome ED

These may help erection issues and low libido by boosting testosterone levels. Ginseng has been used for thousands of years in Chinese medicine to increase stamina and sexual function. Some men have results in just a couple of months and report much fewer side effects.

1. More men see improvement to ED symptoms compared to Viagra use.

2. Ginseng is a plant that has can also enhance overall health as it can be a beneficial herb for improving the immune system.

3. Korean red ginseng is known as the king for herbs to aid sexual function as research suggests that Korean red ginseng improves blood circulation in the body.

4. Ginseng can be used as an alternative to oral medications to also improve sex drive.

Before starting any treatment for erectile dysfunction, a healthy lifestyle is necessary. Avoid smoking and too much alcohol as this can restrict circulation to the penis. Regular exercise may help to relieve stress and can help if any weight loss is needed.

So all in all, this natural supplement offers several health benefits, including the potential to treat erectile dysfunction without resorting to costly medications. Men may enjoy firmer, longer-lasting erections that are easier to achieve for at a much cheaper price. This herbal supplement can also reduce fatigue.

Volkswagen Ad Didn’t Escape Probing Eyes of Mental Health Groups

Another automaker was targeted by the suicide prevention groups for having ads that suggest suicide. Europe’s largest automaker and maker of renowned Volkswagen performance parts, Volkswagen AG didn’t escape the probing eyes of the suicide prevention groups. Five mental health groups have recently demanded that Volkswagen scrap its new TV spot that shows a depressed guy on a ledge who decides not to jump off the building after he hears that Volkswagen is offering three vehicles under $17,000.

According to Keith Price, VW spokesman, the company has no plan whatsoever of scrapping the ad since “We see no reason to stop at this point. We are willing to continue the discussion. But controversy is not something VW has shied away from its marketing.”

The complaints came pouring in after General Motors has agreed to modify the ending of their Super Bowl ad that features a depressed robot that jumps off the bridge. Masterfoods USA similarly scrapped their Snicker’s ad because gay activist groups complained that the reaction of the men on the commercial is homophobic.

The Volkswagen’s commercial “Jumper” was first aired last Monday at NBC’s Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The ad was created by Crispin Porter + Bogusky and is also shown at YouTube. Before the ad was aired, Suicide Prevention Action Network USA has sent a letter to VW requesting for its stoppage. Another letter was sent to VW last Wednesday asking for the stoppage of the ad but this time it was from four mental health groups: The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, American Psychiatric Association, mental Health America and National Alliance on mental Illness.

Madison Avenue is feeling the increasing pressure from activists who are keen in checking commercial contents. And that’s not all; it seems also that interest groups actually have the power to apply pressure even on some of the world’s largest companies.

Barry Glassner, professor of sociology at the University of Southern California said, “There’s little that marketers or politicians can do if power advocacy groups coalesce against them. In some cases, they’re crucial corrective that society needs. In other cases, they go overboard.” But in this case, Glassner is in support of the advocacy groups.

Jerry Reed, executive director of Suicide Prevention Action Network USA also said, “There’s nothing entertaining about the public health tragedy of suicide.” This was seconded by Robert Gebbia, executive director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention saying, “You shouldn’t use mental illnesses as a way to sell cars.”

But according to VW spokesman Price, the automaker didn’t mean to harm anyone with its commercial and further stated “it was not designed or conceived to offend anyone” unfortunately due to forces we cannot control the whole ad thing came out offensive to some people. This was answered by crisis consultant Jonathan Bernstein saying that Volkswagen should dump the ad completely, “VW should have learned a lesson from GM. It’s not worth running an ad that’s socially controversial.”

Adjusting to Becoming Deaf Late in Life

It was on March 2, 2007 that I had to be admitted to the hospital being assisted by two friends. One of which is my partner in life. Their names are Donna (my partner) and Brenda (my friend.) Donna is Caucasian and Brenda is like me, African American. The reason I mention their backgrounds is because as sick as I was, the Emergency room made it difficult for me to be admitted without one was kin to me. What I experienced was hate from the Emergency room facility. According to Donna, they just assumed I was another drunken negro off the streets. I was told by Donna later that I had to ride in an Ambulance to another hospital where Brenda pretended to be my sister (although we look nothing like). They in fact took that information and wave me admittance. After the doctor took a spinal tap it was declared that I had spinal Meningitis and was then taken to the Intensive Care Unit.

I slept in an unconscious like sleep for three days. On that third day, I awoke to a loud humming in both my ears. Donna asked me am I alright but all I could see was her mouth moving and no sound. I began to panic. Having the doctors and nurses called to my room, one of the doctors wrote me a note asking can I hear anything. I replied with a loud voice, "No, I can not even hear myself speak." The doctor then wrote me another note saying, "Royce, you are one lucky lady. When I read that note, I'll never forget the feeling I had about losing my hearing. In fact I was relieved that it was only my hearing that I lost and nothing else. In having time to adjusting to my hearing, I've realized that there are far worse things in life than just being deaf. Long story short I lost my job. And for most of the five years that I've been deaf, I've been feeling self pity. I had no way to pay my bills until I found out I qualified for benefits.

When I went out in public with Donna, I remember feeling like I did not want anyone to talk to me. Why, because then I would have to tell them I am deaf. And that was a hard pill for me to swallow. In fact, I was embarrassed. Having no way to communicate makes one feel locked out from the world. Until one day it dawned on me to attempt to learn American Sign Language. Donna at the time was in college learning ASL. She took that course so that our relationship would not suffer a huge communication gap. What love. Smiles. Basically I've been learning ASL through Donna and today although I'm not fluent in ASL, at least I know enough to get by. As time goes on, I'm learning ASL all the time.

Now that I can somehow communicate through ASL, I wondered what job could I get to earn some extra income. My Benefits just are not enough.

During the fifth year of my being deaf, I decided to attend college. My goal was to become a computer programmer. I went to school for about a year. I had two Sign Language Interpreters, however, the more I advanced in college, the harder the courses, and the harder it was for me to understand what the interpreters were saying to me. Some of my computer courses contained videos which were not closed captions. That was another issue for me to try and overcome. My instructors simply were not willing to change their videos to having closed captioned. Rather than beat a dead horse, I simply finished my semester and never went back. So now I'm a college drop out. Again, what was I to do for a living. I needed something.

It was not long before I turned to the internet. But even that did not seem very promising because most programs are in video and not closed captioned. Also, most of the work at home gigs, require you to use the telephone. Of course that did not work either. I searched and searched for something for me to do. I do not have much money to be investing in programs that do not deliver. So I had to be very picky on which programs to join.

Finally, I found a program that not only had video presentations but they were almost like closed captioned. Each clip of video was written words for me to follow along easily. Even the training videos had written words to them. I was over joyed.

Since joining this Business Venture, I'm seeing on average $ 208.48 per day. What I'm trying to say is that if you search diligently you too can find a program that's right for you. Bottom line is if I can do it, so can you. If you're interested in learning the secret to becoming wealthy, please contact me at my email address listed in the Resource Box. Thank you for reading.

Marriage in Trouble Advice

Since I often write about saving marriages and how I was able to prevent my own divorce, I’m often approached by women whose marriage has not reached the separation or divorce phase yet, but who know that their marriage is in trouble. They want advice on how to fix it / make it better so that it won’t deteriorate so far that it is impossible or very difficult to save the marriage. I highly encourage this proactive behavior and taking preventive measures because it can save a lot of heartache later on. You should never just leave the health and state of your marriage to chance. This article will discuss some things that you can implement in your marriage right away (even today) to get it (and keep it) back on track.

Do Not Address Or Try To Fix Any Major Issues Until Feelings Of Affection And Empathy Are Firmly In Place: I know this may sound backward or contradictory, but please hear me out. I believe from my research and from my own experience that picking apart the problems in a marriage can seriously back fire if you try to do it while there is distance or a lack of intimacy between you. It’s a natural inclination to want to fix or overhaul what’s wrong, but always bringing your husband’s attention to what is wrong will distract his attention away from what is right. And, a marriage that is already in trouble may not be able to withstand the scrutiny. I know that it is absolutely vital to discuss and then fix any issues between you, but I really believe that you should not try to do this until your marriage is firmly back on solid ground.

First, Make It Your Goal To Return To A Place Where Both Husband And Wife Are “In Love Again:” I want you to think about when you were first dating your husband. I’d be willing to bet you were both blissfully happy because you put a lot of time, dedication, and effort into the relationship. This was very likely reflected back by intense, strong, and positive feelings. It’s vital that return as many of these feelings as you can because people in love generally do not like to spend their time fighting or creating distance between them.

Now, I know that you have responsibilities and maybe even kids or aging parents to care for. I absolutely know that you don’t have as much time for your husband as you did when you were dating. That’s a fact for nearly all of us and we can’t manufacture more than 24 hours in a single day, but you can certainly make the most of (and put the effective effort into) the time that you do have.

Men “fall in love” with a woman who makes them feel cared for, cared about, attractive, intelligent, and competent. In order to make your husband feel this way, you have to put in the time and effort. But, you have an advantage here for a few reasons.

First, you probably know your husband better than anymore. You know what makes him tick and what makes him happy. And, you’ve already acted in such a way previously where your husband fell madly in love with and married you. Now, you just need to repeat this process.

Yes, I know that neither of you are the same people who first fell in love. I know that you may look differently and that your situation may have changed. This doesn’t really matter though, because your husband still wants to be loved, respected, cherished and appreciated and YOU are the person he has already chosen for this job.

Giving Your Husband What He Really Wants Gives You More Of What You Want: I often write about these issues and people often tell me that make a lot of sense, but sometimes women will tell me that although they think the process may work, they feel resentful at having to do these things when they are the ones doing all the work and making all of the changes.

I understand this as I felt this exact same way. I used to really fixate on the fact that my husband was wrong and I was right. Then, one day I told a counselor this and she looked me square in the eye and said “Well, Leslie, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”

This shook the analyzing and feet dragging right out of me. I wanted to be happy, of course. I may well have been right, but I didn’t want to be indignant and alone, holding onto my silly injustices while I was going solo.

And, I’ve also learned that if your husband is fulfilled and seeing that you are making an effort, this is almost always reciprocal. You’re showing him how you wish to be treated by demonstrating it to him.

Truly, eventually it turns out to be a win / win situation. You give a little, you get a little and you’re both happy in the end. Isn’t that what we all ultimately want in our marriage?