If you perceive all instances where you were not successful as failure, you are probably pretty miserable. This is faulty reasoning. Most people do not get something right the first time. Most people do not even get it all right the second time. Do you think that Edison invented the light bulb on his first try? If he had decided not to try the second, third, and hundredth time because he had failed, we would all still be living in the dark.
It is not true that not trying protects you from failure. Not trying could be perceived as failure. Further, there is no truth to the belief that failure leads to embarrassment. It is time to challenge that illogical automatic through.
EFT is a great tool to use to change this type of thinking. Say the following statement aloud. “If I don’t try, I don’t risk the embarrassment of failure.” Rate the intensity of this believe on the 0-10 point scale and record your rating.
Repeat this statement three times while tapping gently on the karate chop point. “Even though I believe I can avoid the embarrassment of failure by not trying anything – I choose to love, forgive, and accept myself and all of my limiting beliefs.”
Use a different statement while tapping on each of the eight tapping points.
Eyebrow – “I don’t want to feel embarrassed.”
Side of Eye – “And I will feel embarrassed if I fail.”
Under the Eye – “So I keep myself safe by not trying at all.”
Nose – “But it doesn’t keep me safe.”
Chin – “And it doesn’t avoid failure.”
Collarbone – “And I am embarrassed anyway.”
Under the Arm – “I believe I will fail.”
Top of Head – “I KNOW I will fail.”
Eyebrow – “I can predict the future.”
Side of Eye – “My failure is certain.”
Under the Eye – “My failure is absolute.”
Nose – “No it’s not!”
Chin – “Not trying is failure.”
Collarbone – “It is safe to try.”
Under the Arm – “I can e successful.”
Top of Head – “I KNOW I can take risks and succeed.”
Take a deep breath and check the intensity of your original statement. “If I don’t try, I don’t risk the embarrassment of failure.” Record the intensity. Continue tapping with these statements until your rating is quite low.
What happens inside you when you think about the number of times you have failed at something before? Is it a negative feeling? Is it a positive feeling? Is it neutral? My hope for you is that it is either neutral or positive, but I suspect you will really feel more negative. So you have failed. I say “good”, that means you have tried something. Do you have a number in your head for how many times it is okay to fail at something before you should give up? Is that number the same as the number o times that you think it is okay for other people to try something before they give up? If there is a difference, try to understand why. That will probably be something to write down in your tapping journal for later.