Inner Game Foundation – How to Remove Approach Anxiety

Standing with your friends, chatting and laughing, not really caring about anything, and then she just walks into your life … 4 seconds.

Those lips, those eyes, the sway of her hips … 3 seconds.

She's hypnotic … 2 seconds.

You need to have her in your life … 1 second.

You know what you need to do. She's right next to you. It's time. You go to open your mouth but you stop. You're afraid.

She keeps walking … and she's gone.

We all have fears in our life. There are some things that are a little scary and then there are others that when we even just considering confronting them, we experience so much fear that it almost feels paralysing.

But can fear ever really be paralysing? Can fear ever really stop you from doing anything?

I want you to stop for a second and think back to a time when you were afraid of doing something … but then you did it anyway. Maybe the first time you approached a girl you really liked, or the first time you asked a girl for her phone number, maybe jumping from a plane, or the first time you lent in for a kiss. Was it scary? I bet it was! But were you able to act specifically your fear? Yes, you were.

So there are times when you can push through it but what about the other times? What about when it's really bad? Can fear actually stop you from doing anything then?

Some people say yes. They say there's a threshold where it just becomes so terrifying that you can not do it. Ok, so where's that threshold? Can you tell me what yours is? And if it was a life or death situation, could you push through it? I bet you could.

So can fear actually stop you from doing anything? Well, only you can answer that but I have a question I want you to consider what you do:

What do you have to gain from giving into your fear? And what do you have to gain from not?

To quote an old saying: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act in the face of it."

So the next time your approach anxiety is crippling, feel that sensation fully in your body, and then ask yourself: What do I stand to gain by acting anyway? And what do I really stand to lose if I act anyway? "