What Do Teenagers and Parents Go Through?
When children grow into their teens they encounter additional pressures that they had been insulated from in their previous years. This can come about as a result of additional social activities, additional school responsibilities or even as a result of their wanting to take their own decisions without the help of parents or guardians. This can cause them a fair amount of distress which at the same time can also help their emotional growth. They need to learn to deal with stress and unfamiliar situations while coping with anxiety and probable helplessness.
Parents of teenagers in such situations are sometimes quite hard pressed into wanting to do something to alleviate the teenager’s problems. Any interference in this natural process of development is fraught with danger. Parents can only offer advice when it is solicited and would do well to keep away from interfering unless threatening situations are noticed. They should constantly strive to encourage the self esteem of the teenager in order to enable them to have the confidence to deal with the unfamiliar situations they find themselves in. In such situations, peer pressure and interaction with people of their own age is more than likely to be of help. This is especially helpful if their peers have faced similar situations and have learnt lessons from it. These shared experiences are great ways for bonding and friendships which result form these are likely to be long lasting and useful to the teenager.
Handling Teenage Guidance Intelligently
Parents need to be emotionally intelligent to have any influence on teens which will allow them to become socially conscious while remaining stable and flexible in their emotions.
When a parent interacts with a child, especially a teenager, certain stress levels are brought in. The parent needs to keep this stress under control as this can be easily perceived by the teenager. This stress could lead to the child finding interaction constantly irksome and could cause the child to avoid the situation.
Accept the fact that as a parent you are also a human and have your own needs of time and space. Let the teenager know this firmly enough and it is almost sure that the teen will accept the fact and live with it. Be consistent in all your dealings with their problems and even if they find your decisions irksome, they will still respect it for the constancy that you show.
Let not any feeling of guilt come into any dealings with your teenager. Children are always quick to spot such feelings and more than likely to take advantage of it. If you are feeling guilty in any way, better to correct the situation that has caused this guilt.
Show your teenager the respect that his fledgling and developing personality has come to expect. Listen to their problems and the suggestions that they have and never lay down the law. Explain your situation in an adult manner. Teenagers will respond when you put the onus of understanding on them.