Whilst managing depression, it helps to understand it. In this article lets talk about symptoms. I have heard people with depression say that they can ‘feel it coming on.’ I would have to concur. You can almost feel it approaching like animals can sense an oncoming rare eclipse before they suddenly disappear.
What are the symptoms?
Depression symptoms are varied but most people experience one or more of the following. The symptoms (for some), often represent an almost complete change of character and create possibly the maddest thoughts you have ever had.
Because they are so way out, self destructive, self obsessed and often illogical depression symptoms come laden with guilt for added measure.
Self loathing and worthlessness.
Depression encourages that creeping feeling of worthlessness. Suddenly you feel that all your contributions so far have been worth nothing. YOU are nothing. Every one else is so much better and could someone explain the point of you being here at all?
This is backed up faithfully by thoughts of:
In the lowest points of depression I have gone through many variations of suicide attempt in my head, (aside from actual attempts) and uselessly scored them on their viability. Have you?
Which would hurt the most?
Which would be quicker?
Which would be more economically sound for the person who found me, (re carpets and all!)
Would you really feel the ‘thud’ if you fell off a building…
I mean totally crack-pot stuff right? But this is the absolute stark reality of depression. As a sufferer I would prefer it to be understood for all it’s mental bullying glory without sugar coating it, because I believe that exposing it’s dark power and understanding it rather than masking it with medication, as seemingly always the first step, is the most resilient way to try and control it.
You either sleep an awful lot, (more guilt for feeling lazy), or hardly sleep at all. You might find, like me, that it becomes a bit of a vicious circle where you can’t summon up the energy to eat therefore you lose more energy and end up sleeping too much, thereby getting weaker and weaker and more despondent.
But it is this vital life-energy that you get from activity that is required to create the oxygen to whizz around your body that you actually need to fight the depression….the most natural way.
Then there are weight fluctuations as a result of depression causing your lack of appetite or causing you to gorge on food.
Lack of enthusiasm.
This one is hard. It is the symptom that makes ‘the shiny, happy people,’ (the non sufferers of depression), eventually lose patience with you ‘for not trying’. From experience they fail to understand that it is merely another manifestation of depression, just as tooth ache is a symptom of poor gums or rotting teeth, neither of which you can just choose to stop immediately, without treatment.
Unfortunately, the things that depression makes you do creates other issues that make you feel even worse. I do feel there is hope, (but bear in mind that I am writing this article in an up cycle!) Sometimes…just sometimes, current cures are obscured by a medical or financial agenda that is not naturally kind to us or our systems, which is why I try to seek out and trial transparent remedies that have no agenda other than to help our highly intelligent bodies work WITH us to make us feel better.