Many of us have experienced those times in our lives when we’ve felt depressed or anxious. For some these feelings are a daily part of life. For others these feelings may be more common during the holiday season or on special occasions. Life’s many circumstances can lead to long periods of depression. There are many factors related to this state of anxiety and depression. Here are just a few.
It can be difficult even getting out of bed in the morning when fear has a stronghold on you. For instance if you are deep in debt your stability becomes threatened as you are faced with the reality that you may lose the things you value. Or if you’re a student in grade school you may dread facing a test or that person who goes out of their way to bully you everyday. Fear is not something that is easily conquered. It’s more than just an act of putting mind over matter. It’s a real problem that should be acknowledged and addressed. Sometimes we don’t address our fears because we refuse to admit to ourselves there is a problem and we definitely wouldn’t want anyone else to know. Fear, when left unattended has a tendency to grow and intensity without our awareness. The recommended course of action is to seek help whether it be spiritual or professional.
We have all been hurt on occasion due to expectations that were not met on the part of another individual. The pain of mistrust can lead to long periods of alienation. Although we know these things happen in life it doesn’t serve to ease the pain. We need time to process and assess the damage done to our psychological and emotional state as well as try and figure out what and where we went wrong. However, after we’ve done all this it is important to make every effort to move on no matter how difficult it may seem because the person who hurt you certainly has.
We tend to shut ourselves off from the world when life becomes overwhelming. This is probably a natural time out response that can be both therapeutic and comforting. However I know some people who have been in time out much too long. When a person chooses to isolate themselves it may be seen as an act of self preservation when in reality it only helps them to hide and prolong the inevitable. One day the very thing you hide from will have to be faced. We were made to be in relationships and to love and support each other. Imagine what would happen if we all embraced this concept.
There is no sorrow deeper than the sorrow of losing a loved one. I believe what makes this such a difficult thing to cope with is the reality of separation. We simply were not made for it and somehow through God’s grace, and support of family and friends we continue our lives one day at a time.
There’s probably nothing worse than feeling like an outsider. When people refuse to accept you it can definitely have an affect on you self-esteem. Even though it hurts we have to remember we have probably done the same thing to someone else at some point and time. Sometimes we have to examine our motives for desiring the company of certain groups or individuals. It could be that we feel our association with them just may elevate our status. Who knows it just may. However, the goal is to surround ourselves with positive people to help built confidence not tear it down. After all I’d rather walk in my own light than live in someone else’s.
Life goes through many stages. Knowing when to move on can definitely be a factor in preventing loneliness. My kids moved away to college. What do you do with your life when your life was all about them for twenty years. Move on. You work at a job for 35 years. It’s all you know. You refuse to retire because you can’t imagine what you will do without the job and the relationships you’ve built over the years. What do you do? Move on. Your husband wakes up one morning and tells you he no longer wants to be married. He’s met someone else – online. You’ve been married for years. You have children. You thought – this is it – I’m secure. What do you do? Move on. I’m not making light of any of these situations as they are all very serious. I’m simply saying if you stay where you were left you forfeit your chance of any real happiness.
Bitterness and Hostility
These two just make a person down right ugly. They’re very hard to miss. When a person is bitter you know it. They’re not just bitter some of the time – they’re bitter all the time; I mean 24/7. If you happen to be this way please understand that this condition does to the soul and spirit what termites do to wood. These two will eat away at you to the point where you can’t even stand yourself. So,whatever is making you bitter address it. And if you don’t know you’re bitter just observe the affect you have on others.
We live in a world of selfishness and unfairness. We all have things we find hard even impossible to forgive people for. What I discovered over the years is unforgiveness has failed to accomplish the goal I expected it would. That goal was to make the offender feel guilty, ashamed, and apologetic. It just didn’t happen. All it did was keep my mind at the scene of the crime. Ultimately, time moved on without me and I became more and more a faded memory in the mind of the offender.
Shame and embarrassment
There are things in life we do to ourselves and to others that can cause use to feel ashamed and embarrassed so much so that we can hardly bear the weight of it. Each time we see someone or something that reminds us of what we’ve done we relive the experience all over again. I’ve found that it just doesn’t do any good to beat yourself up. It’s best to find the courage to ask forgiveness and set things straight.
Abuse and Violence
We can all understand and except that there is violence and abuse in the world, but when it’s in our very home it is a living hell. You feel unloved, unsafe, insecure and often blame yourself for what is happening. People who grow up this way can end up carrying this experience through life. No one has the right to make another persons life miserable yet it happens everyday. If this is you you need not feel ashamed. You did nothing wrong. None of it is your fault. Get together with people you trust who can really help. Your life is valuable – reclaim your worth.
None of the above mentioned has the power to cloud judgment and cause us to do things that are contrary to what we know is right. It’s that little person on the inside that makes it difficult for us to apologize. It’s that person that tells us to put ourselves first. When pride gets in the way it’s really in the way. It steps aside for no one. It grows and just doesn’t stop until we put it under subjection. Pride has ruined many relationships and continues to do so. There’s no room for this kind of pride in your life. It’s not easy to show humility but it most certainly is worth it.
All of the above situations will deplete your life and inhibit you from living comfortably with yourself. Life is too short to allow anyone or anything rob you of it’s pleasures. These are all very subtle in their infancy but can lead to very serious conditions.