This article might give you a totally different insight to how some people coming in your life might think that will affect you in the long run.
There are ofcourse different types of people in this world, who have a different idea of how a relationship should be, in other words how a perfect relationship should be. What you might see as dream come true might be a nightmare for them and their daily usual activities.
I am talking about people who have commitment phobia, which is a kind of a “disease” if you ask me, something that not only gets worse and worse as the days goes by but also affects the other person in the relationship in a very serious way.
If you want to know a little bit more about Commitment phobia just search the internet for that term, you will find dozens of websites explaining how these people can “ruin” themselves and you making you feel accountable for everything happening in your life, and wrecking your whole “lovely dream of becoming one”
Even if you drag that person into a relationship ending in marriage, all you have done is bought yourself a ticket to the court for a divorce, because those people never think serious about what’s going on in their life apart from the fear of being with someone making them lose their “freedom”.
Signs that you should look out for, and believe me these signs are something you would rather overlook when you are with them like a lot of people. So its just something you would have to decide for yourself, as to if this really fits you or your partner. If it does, do something about it!
There could be lots of reasons a person can not be in a good long-term relationship:
- They just can’t commit
- They are very happy being single, although they care for you but their social life will be in ruins “that is what they think” after they marry you
- They just are in it for fun, as you might say hunting and when they make the kill they are gone
- They are lust seekers, just in it for that one thing
- Or they can either be perfectionists that believe there is someone better, although they might have that person in front of their nose
These people have an anxiety that will definitly lead to an end to a perfect relationship.
Are most commitment phobic people, males?
Well there is no such thing that says only males are non-commiters, because females can be just as bad in this area. While guys would like to settle down and want a family, the females biological clock might be ticking the other way around making her think differently at a certain time in her life. So to answer that question, NO, it doesn’t matter what gender it is both can fall under this “disease” as i would call it.
What does a non-commiter do?
A non-commiter has lots of different ways of dealing with you, and neither of them need to make any sense on their side.
The non-commiter would definitly back out of any loving relationship, and their fear of commitment makes it impossible to carry on with their relationship properly and with a clean heart. When their relationship is reaching a point of “being tied in the knot” they run away.
And you are left alone all heart broken losing all your self-esteem that its because of you. Remember don’t blame yourself, as When they say “Its not you its me” they are right. It definitly is and was them all the time.
What happens when it ends?
Well at the very end of a relationship that is ending because of their lack of commitment, there are lots of things that appear. Things that you might never have seen in them before.
If you as a victim tell them you are going to leave, either they would stop you with the sake of their love or even cry.
Others might shut themselves completely making you cry, and feel so low that you want to sink into the ground thinking you are the worst individual to be around. And all they do is just stand without a single emotion. Why? Well because their mind can’t accept they will be as free as they were after they are with you, which ofcourse its just a symptom of this “disease”
To save yourself from people like that first of all you would really need to know more about things that they avoid in the beginning. Ofcourse mentioning marriage in the beginning usually backfires. But still think about it, if they are at a stage when they back out after so many years of knowing you loving you, what would make you think their “i want to be single” mind will do later?
Their moto usually is “Come closer, go away. Don’t abandon me. Don’t engulf me.” As i read somewhere one “commitment phobic” wrote:
“I am more interested in honesty than commitment. As soon as someone starts to worry about commitment, I get cautious. I start focusing on their faults. The more involved I’m going to be, the more cautious I have to be.”
So there might be nothing wrong with you, so cheer up and if you really love that person leave them alone and let them “invent” themselves in a new way after they realize that you really do make them complete. People who are commitment phobic, need time alone, but if given the right reasons and therapy from professionals their mind can think positive about it. And who knows that could be a start of a never ending relationship when they have realized what went wrong with them.
But for now, please remember if you are in the start of a relationship with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable when you talk about the future END IT , but remember one thing if the person is too precious to let go and you really want to help them, refer them to hypnotherapy if they do listen or somehow get someone else to book some time for them. Because those victims not only kill their feelings slowly slowly but also cause their whole family to suffer along with them.
Visit WakasMir.com for more articles