Commitmentphobia phobia can affect all areas of a person’s life. Commitment phobics often fear committing to a relationship, a job, a pet, or anything else. These fears are exaggerations of normal fears of making the wrong choice of a mate or job. The sufferer generally fears most that which he or she wants most, which suggests the phobia is born of a fear of failure or a feeling of unworthiness and so subconsciously decide to reject someone before they can be rejected.
While most phobias can be treated by frequent brief exposure to the item or situation feared, a therapist can’t expose a client to repeated relationships.
The only way to treat this condition is to uncover and treat the root causes. Many commitment phobics experienced the death of a parent or a parental divorce or some other abandonment issue. Someone may have been abused or betrayed by a member of the opposite sex and so is afraid to trust.
These negative experiences and beliefs can be self perpetuating. The phobic person does not see his or her part in the break-up. This reinforces the belief that he or she can not trust members of the same sex and so rejects the next person who gets close.
There are some classic behaviors exhibited by phobic men and women. For clarity’s sake we will use he in this list of common commitment phobic behaviors. You may see yourself or a friend in some or many of these behaviors.
– A history of short relationships – he may bolt when he senses you are looking for a commitment.
– He may be quite satisfied with a long distance relationship and resist suggestions that either of you move to be closer.
– He will be moody and distant and blame you for his behavior.
– He refuses to plan ahead because this represents commitment for him.
– He is evasive and secretive in order to keep you out of his space.
– He is not willing to socialize with your friends and family for fear this will be construed as commitment.
We could go on for pages and pages listing behaviors common to commitment phobics. However one or two of these behaviors in an individual does not make him a candidate for commitment phobia and fear treatment and cure.
You may be wondering what kind of treatment is available for commitment phobia. First the person has to want the help and be willing to work with a therapist.
The therapist or counselor needs the determine whether or not the person truly is a commitment phobic or if there is some other personality disorder present. If it is determined that the person truly has a commitment phobia, then the therapist and her client need to work on uncovering what triggered the problem.
The phobic individual needs to figure out what commitment means to him or her.
Talk therapy helps the client to determine these issues. It also helps the person to deal with these things and reduce the stress in his or her life.
People who suffer from extreme forms of commitment phobia may benefit from mood stabilizing medications, since they can become depressed by not being able to carry on a satisfactory relationship.
It is a big step to even acknowledge the fact that you have a problem and being willing to seek help. The burden of having a phobia can be overcome and seeking a commitment phobia and fear treatment and cure is the way to achieve that goal.
For more information on cure go to http://www.symptoms-of-anxiety-depression.com