First off why am I qualified to write on this subject? My qualifications are simply this. I’m a middle aged adult that has raised six children, also have got the opportunity to be a major influence in the raising of 13 grandchildren, and many nieces and nephews. Now I don’t claim to know it all by any means, but I do have some experience.
In my experience I have found that every child is different. I have fond there are four key things to always remember. Consistency and patience. In my opinion every child needs and deserves plenty of both, and lets not forget the most important things either. They all need to be shown Love, and acceptance.
Now back to all children being different. How does consistency and patience work? You need to first learn each child individually. Find out how he or she thinks and responds to different things. This will take time and lots of patience. Now that you know how this child ticks remember to be constant. No is always No. Not (NO!, no, or I’ll let that slide this time.) The word No should be used sparingly yet firmly. Don’t cry wolf with this word. As you can see these two steps are not easy ones, but ones I think are important..
Love and acceptance. Always make time for both. You need to say I love you as well as show it. Ways of showing “I love you” can and will vary a lot. A few examples: tousling of their hair, butterfly kisses, Eskimo kisses, a soft touch on their nose, nudge on the shoulder, a simple high-five in the air. There are many ways. I’m sure you have some of your own. When showing “I love yous” make sure it is something your child likes and responds favorably to. Saying and showing “I love yous” needs to be done often and sincerely. This is “very” necessary for your child’s self esteem.
Now on to “bad behaviors and different ideas about discipline.” Which form of discipline is best? Good question. Many people would have you think that there idea is the Right and only way. Again it is my belief that you need to know your child. Discipline varies. Behaviors vary as well. There are those that believe that you need to baby proof your house. I am not among those. My reason for that is, “Though your house should be a safe heaven, it is also a learning place.” The room where your toddler is allowed to play unattended, (their room for example) needs to be toddler proofed for sure. As for the rest of the house I would not. This is why. The grandparent’s house isn’t child proof is it? What about your friend’s place? Okay maybe that one is but, how about your church, the store and many other places your toddler goes? The rest of the house needs to be a training place for your child to learn the way it is in the rest of the world. This give them a place to learn the word No. To throw their fits in private. This is where YOU learn what makes your child tick. This is where you as a parent get to learn what works best for you and your child. Remember consistency and patience? This is where YOU make it work.
Once you learn what works for you and your child, that’s when things get nicer in public places. That’s when people say how well behaved your child is. That’s when you can be proud of your child in public.