Being apart in a long distance relationship will often result in a lot of worriesome stress and anxiety that not only can be avoided but, if approached the right way, can actually “make the heart grow fonder”. Here is how you can make anxiety work for you and enhance your relationship.
With the advantage of modern technology that includes video connections on computers and telephones, messaging facilities on cell phones and online shopping and delivery, there are many aids to long distance relationships that a modern couple can enjoy which were simply unheard of in the days of our not so distant ancestors.
Of special concern to many is the possibility that our partner will be exposed to overwhelming temptations, and even cheat, while they are away from us. If this is a minor concern, frequent contact with messaging, telephone calls and video link will be very helpful in helping to sustain and build a loving relationship. When you view the separation with a sense of calm rather than alarm, there are many tools available to help sustain the relationship.
If you are finding the separation to be especially stressful, it is important to understand that the anxiety being experienced has its origins in perception and arises from the way you look at the world. That is, you are responding to thoughts and expectations that your partner may be cheating on you or is simply losing interest.
This does not mean that they are behaving badly or that their feelings are cooling. It indicates that you are allowing negative thoughts to evoke negative feelings. Invariably, decisions and choices that we make when we are feeling anxious, angry, resentful, hurt, sad, lonely, and the like, will point us in a direction that is away from what we really want.
For instance, if we are resentful towards an absent partner, we are tempted to be surly, cool, distant, suspicious and critical. Acting in this way towards another stirs resentment in the one on the receiving end of our ire.
Do they feel more loving when being treated this way? More likely they are inclined to retaliate, in turn causing you to feel more resentful!
Notice that what caused us to feel resentment in the first place were our perceptions of the situation. The thoughts we entertained may have been based on little more than our own insecurities and other attitudes and expectations that we hold which shape our perception of the world.
The ideas we accept mold the way we see events and the way we interpret what we see. If we see a rosy picture, we feel joyous and expect a happy outcome. If our view is a gloomy one, our prospects also appear dark and we feel anxious and threatened.
Anxiety in a long distance relationship is something we CAN control and overcome when we understand the way it works and what can be done about it. The flow on benefit is that it helps us in all sorts of ways and not only when we are apart from our loved ones. We also learn how to create an infinitely better world for ourselves and feel more in control of our lives.